December 24th, 2007

handholding

(no subject)

It's only 2 minutes until Christmas.

I finally broke down yesterday in front of my parents. The first time I'd done it since my dad was diagnosed. Since my dad isn't well enough to go to work, we've been needing to cut back a lot on our finances. This means one very big and disgusting thing. My brother has to move back into the house. The thief, the schizophrenic, moronic meaningless little shit has to move back in at the end of January. He's had his life handed to him on a silver platter, allowed to live off my parents for far too long. And they continue to let it happen. All I have to say is that if anything happens that I'm not remotely please of, I'm calling the police. But, as someone once said, live the day and build your bridges when you come to them. Hopefully it's not permanent and the little shit can start acting like a 28 year old and sustain himself.

Today I finally got a chance to go Christmas shopping for my parents. None of us had the energy or even the desire to put up any decorations, focusing all of our attentions on making sure dad was alright. There was a sports memorabilia shop next to the JoAnn's were I work, and I decided to go in there and see what else they had. I'd already made my dad a Notre Dame fleece blanket and my mom a duck fleece blanket, but I didn't think that was enough for them. I found dad a nice ND sweatshirt and ND license plate frame. Then I braved the mall and last minute shoppers to find my mom something. She's so damn hard to buy for and this was actually the first year I went completely on my own to get her something. I ended up getting her a nice snowflake pin and a Nordstrom's gift card. I felt like the gift card was rather impersonal, but I just could NOT for the life of me figure out what to get her. So with them taken care of, I still felt rather iffy about their presents.

I came home, wrapped them all up, and then we had dinner. After dinner was finished, I said "Would you like to open your presents now or tomorrow?" They both looked at me as if I'd just sprouted another head. Sorta like "You got US presents?!" I know that they had no chance to get me anything, and I'm fine with it. But they're my parents and I figured they deserved something to brighten their holiday season. Things have been so hard, I just hoped that what I got them would make them happy. When my father opened his presents, he nearly cried. The only time I'd ever seen my father cry was when I was accepted to DePaul. Not even at his own father's funeral did I see him cry. So I knew then that he was happy. He'd been complaining that the house was too cold and jacked up the heat to a very steamy setting. Tonight, he could lower the temperature and sit in his chair wearing his sweatshirt and drape his blanket over his legs. Mom came by to say that he said that it felt like he "had his daughter wrapped around him". It made me nearly break down again. It made everything worth while, and now I don't feel like Christmas was such a bust.

We went out for a drive to look at Christmas lights, but all the usual streets and subdivisions were very lacking in their Christmas spirit this year. A sign of the times, I suppose.

If you've made it this far through my story, or if you just skipped to the end, I'd like to wish all of my friends a Merry Christmas. No matter how many presents you get or who you spend it with, make the best of what you have. That's what Christmas should be about.
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