January 3rd, 2003

handholding

*sigh*

Went to visit my grandma today. She's getting close to dying. It's hard seeing her how she is. She's such a strong woman, and now, when I see her, she's so frail. And I think it has to do with my grandfather dying. It's weird, she was talking to me as if it would be the last time I get to see her. I was setting up the TV that she got for Christmas, because it was too heavy for her to lift it out of the box. And being the Italian grandma that she is, she was constantly trying to feed me while I was there. I'd just come back from having lunch w/ Ash at Mai Thai.

School starts Monday. I'm glad to be going back. I love being down town, and around down town. I can't wait to see
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Went to visit my grandma today. She's getting close to dying. It's hard seeing her how she is. She's such a strong woman, and now, when I see her, she's so frail. And I think it has to do with my grandfather dying. It's weird, she was talking to me as if it would be the last time I get to see her. I was setting up the TV that she got for Christmas, because it was too heavy for her to lift it out of the box. And being the Italian grandma that she is, she was constantly trying to feed me while I was there. I'd just come back from having lunch w/ Ash at Mai Thai.

School starts Monday. I'm glad to be going back. I love being down town, and around down town. I can't wait to see <lj-user="Serpentigena">, whenever we can figure out a way to see each other. I bought a monkey change purse for Ash at Kohl's today, as a second part of her Christmas gift, because I think the necklace I was going to give her is suddenly really ugly.

My head it hurtting too much. I don't know what to do with myself. Gekka Kozi needs to start sewing itself ... like ... now ...
  • Current Mood
    discontent discontent
handholding

(no subject)

Take The Quiz@ Crushed-Velvet.net!


Take The Quiz@ Crushed-Velvet.net!

O.o;

Take The Quiz@ Crushed-Velvet.net!

eep!

Take The Quiz@ Crushed-Velvet.net!

>< that's gross ... I hate Quirrel

Take The Quiz@ Crushed-Velvet.net!

woo!

Ok, I'm done with quizzes ... *pokes hot_jupiters many times for making her wait during Haldir/Legolas peek in RP* XD
  • Current Music
    Enya music
handholding

(no subject)

I suddenly feel ill, saddened, and very pissed at myself. I shouldn't be online right now, but I felt I had to say ... something.

She's driving me mad. I don't know if it's friendship, or if there's anything there. But, it's making me crazy. I don't know if her advances are just cute girl talk, or if they'll mean something. We have so much in common, and yet, could this just be the talk of a worn out, still sexually frustrated 20 yr old? (I'm not a teen anymore, or so my father tells me every single fuckin' day) I'm infatuated. Another attachment to someone out of my reach, another heart break. Why do I keep killing myself like this?

Am I just being paranoid? Is there really something there that's worth working on, if only just to see some good results in the far off future? So many damn questions, none of which I know I want answered.

We were talking tonight, I was so gitty to see her online again. All too soon, she told me she had to leave.

A tall, dark, and handsom man was waiting to paint her nails ...
  • Current Mood
    lonely lonely